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Archive for the ‘Pure Bullshit’ Category

Yes, this is one of the things one could do when you’re bored as hell. Enjoy/hate

Question #1: Are you a morning or night person?

Hate going to bed, hate getting out of bed, so nocturnal

Question #2: Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?

Salty as long as I have plenty to drink.
Question #3: Ninjas or pirates?

Ninjas
Question #4: Ninjas vs pirates, discuss.

Easy. The pirates walk drunk in the street while the ninjas are around blending in. Before you know it the ninjas have stopped the singing and disappear.
Question #5: Autobots or Decepticons?

Despite the autobots being the good guys, transforming into a tank, fighter jet or chopper is much more awesome.
Question #6: What was your favorite childhood television program?

Tom & Jerry. I have seen most of it. Still enjoy them
Question #7: Are you a collector of anything?

Nope, only of bad jokes
Question #8: If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Panda bear. Looking cute and cuddly but will kill you, if I can be arsed
Question #9: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Flying.
Question #10: What is usually your first thought when you wake up?

Something along the lines of “Fucking alarm!”
Question #11: What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?

My girlfriend
Question #12: What’s your favorite color?

Red
Question #13: What’s your favorite animal?

Pandas
Question #14: Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?

Yeah. Odds for us being alone in this rather huge universe is rather small
Question #15: Do you believe in ghosts?

Not sure. More between heaven and earth than we know
Question #16: Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?

Not really, although there are games that I’ve played frequently simply because I like them
Question #17: You’re given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?

Buy myself a nice house.
Question #18: Have any bad habits?

Smoking, talking before thinking, Thinking way too much about things, usually the worst possible scenario
Question #19: Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?

Thinking. I try to go to sleep and always end up thinking a lot.
Question #20: List 3 of your best personality traits:

Friendly, funny, outgoing
Question #21: List 3 of your worst personality traits:

impatient, sceptical, sometimes annoying
Question #22: Have any celebrity crushes?

Nope
Question #23: List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself:

My insecurity
Question #24: Any tattoos or piercings?

Nope
Question #25: What’s the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?

Smile. If she’s not smiling then the eyes.
Question #26: What personality traits do you look for in a partner?

Funny, confident, outgoing, charming, intelligent. And probably other things as well.
Question #27: What personality traits do you dislike in other people?

Stupid people. I hate stupid people. There should be a law against it.
Question #28: Are you mostly a clean or messy person?Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?

Probably not.
Question #29: Are you mostly a clean or messy person?

Bit of both. I prefer having a system, but I’m not the first to grab the hoover.
Question #30: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Somewhere around where I live now
Question #31: If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

London. Personal reasons. Unless I had that special someone with me somwhere else. Then I’d go for something far away, like a deserted island with parrotfishpoop beaches.
Question #32: List 5 goals on your life’s to-do list:

Education, job, girlfriend, do something dangerous/stupid, piss off a celebrety
Question #33: Name 1 regret you have:

Not working properly in school.
Question #34: Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid:

The lack of responsibility
Question #35: Name 1 thing you love about being an adult:

More freedom, kinda.
Question #36: What’s your favorite song of the moment?

Peter Gabriel – My body is a cage
Question #37: What’s your favorite song of all time?

Rammstein – Sonne
Question #38: What’s your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?

Relax. Just relax
Question #39: What’s your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?

Try to forget that tomorrow is monday
Question #40: Have any hidden talents?

If they’re hidden I wouldn’t know about them, would I?
Question #41: You’re about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?

Lamb ribs like my grandma used to make them
Question #42: What would be your dream job?

Professor
Question #43: Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?

True love
Question #44: If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?

Remove any debt any of my family members have, get rid of my illness, and give me and my girlfriend a house and jobs nearby
Question #45: Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?

Sometimes. Longer and heavier *******
Question #46: Name 1 thing not many people know about you:

I enjoy scratching my ear.
Question #47: If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Fredric Uck of Hel
Question #48: Do you believe in the afterlife?

Yes
Question #49: On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?

Pro cookies for people who aren’t overly fat.

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Ok, I’m not John the Revelator. I bet I’m as far from a biblical person as you can get it, unless you’re looking for the most evil of assholes in the Good Book. Like I’ve always said; I have a seat saved for me in hell, in the VIP section along with Hitler, Thatcher and Justin Bieber when he dies(I know God can forgive everything, but I doubt he can forgive Justin Bieber. Gotta be the exception that confirms the rule).

Speaking of the most evil creature the devil has ever placed on Earth, some lowlife paprazzi took some great photo’s of Bieber and his girlfriend(paparazzi is a lowlife because he’s forced to follow Bieber. How low on the paparazzi ladder can you get?) on a beach. After this, the girl’s twitter account was spammed with pre-teen girls saying how they were going to kill her etc. I think we should thank whoever came up with twitter(can’t be arsed to look it up) for this invention. Now the health authorities can only find the people behind the different twitter accounts and lock them all up as phsyco’s.

Know what? I just came up with the greatest reality program EVER. It’s simple; 10 bieber fans in a room and say that one of them might get to have a 5 min convo with the son of the devil himself. Close the door and see what happens. Probably yelling, stupid insults and then catfight. I think it could be entertaining to watch. At least it would be better than a lot of the other reality TV shows that’s out and about. I didn’t know that Selena Gomez(apparantly that’s the future Princess of Hell) was a lesbian.

A quick riddle: What do you do if you’re in a room with Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber and you have a gun with only one bullet? You shoot Rebecca Black, rip of her arm and beat Justin Bieber to death with it.

Enough talk about the son of the Devil. We’re off and delving into the month of June, which I’m willing to bet is named after the ancient godess Juno(once again, can’t be arsed to look it up). The summer has now officially started. And guess how it started here; cold, wind, rain. How awesome is that??? I live on the northern hemisphere, which means that when we arrive at June it’s supposed to be summer, not some shitty weather that we’re supposed to have in November(which is a really shitty month, btw).

COME SEE EBOUE!(sorry, I have a certain weird type of tourettes that’s not really diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I have something similar.)

I wish I had some more strange shit to say, but I’ll come back to that later. I can be rather random, so you’ll see statements like “Ronaldo is a greased up cunt that left Utd. because he got tired of recieving surprise buttsex from Rooney and Rio” when I’m talking about the similarities between Christianity and Islam and the religion of Jimmy the Weirdo who believes crap is holy, and God will show himself if he gathers 100 kg of green poo. I’ll leave you with the image of a huge, smelling green pile of shit. And yes, I am sick and disgusting

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No new bullshit

Every post is a repost of a repost.

That’s an old internet saying, or an old chan saying. Not part of the rules of the internet, although the rules of the internet can be found here. It’s quite a humorous read, that is if you understand it, but that will be your problem not mine. If there are things that makes you go “These foreigners are using such strange words in these rules” then I suggest you use google. If you don’t know what google is I only hope to God that you will NEVER reproduce.

However, I feel the need to complain about something. Sadly, I’m now in what some newspapers call a down period when it comes to news; nothing really exciting happening so they just come up with a bunch of news that no one really cares about. So, I thought I should tell you guys about the six empty coke cans on my desk.

They’re bought in Norway, so if I return them I’ll get 1 NOK(around 9-10 pence) a piece, which will give me 6 NOK all in all, enough to buy… hell, you can’t buy anything for 6 NOK in this country. Maybe a tiny piece of chocolate, but nothing more. So I have 6 rather worthless cans sitting(or is it standing? They have no ass or feet, so it’s kinda hard to pick the right word) on my desk, and I’m gonna do the right thing and recycle them. I could just throw them in the bin, but I’m doing my part for saving the environment. You assholes probably just chuck everything in the bin. Swines. Think about your children!!!!

Like pretty much any can of coke, they’re red and white. Shocking, isn’t it? I know. I had to look several times before I realised that it actually was coke.

Jesus Christ. This is one of the most severe forms of writer’s block you’ll ever witness. I’m writing about empty coke cans, like it’s some sort of new scientific exploration that I can patent. “I swear. With these new EMPTY cans of coke I can create energy out of nowhere and break the laws of thermoydynamics!” (This is about the first law of thermodynamics, which is explained in a horrid way and you will just have to take my word for it… suckers). I’m glad I don’t have an editor. He or she would probably now be yelling in my ear to deliver, threatening to send me to a Shaolin monastary where I’d be spending the rest of my life as a punching bag in the ballkicking section.

A decent human being would probably apologise for exposing you guys for such a horrible post, but I never claimed to be a decent human being and thus I’ll just laugh at you for having so little to do that you’ve actually read through it all. Always good to finish with an insult.

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